Listomania
William Daou

What If These B99 Characters Were Lebanese?

Have you ever wondered what the Brooklyn 99 cast would be like if there were Lebanese? Well, here’s what we came up with.

1. Jake Peralta

– The “manyak” of the friend group
– Favorite food: shawarma with extra toum
– Loves to chitchat with the taxi driver
– B dal zah2an w ma bye2dar ye23od bel bet

2. Amy Santiago

– The mom of the group
– Favorite food: bemye
– Was triple masked during the COVID craze w ma ken byendahar ma3a
– She only gets her suits from Massimo

3. Gina Linetti

– Ma bta3ref tsed ni3a
– Favorite food: colorful bowls from The Glow Paradise
– Her superpower is eno betdalla msatle bas fahmene kel shi at the same time
– “Enta akid Scorpio ba3ref men hakyetak”

4. Captain Holt

– Byet7awal bas yeshrab a few sips of wine
– Favorite food: none because he’s hyper fixated on more important things
– The most organized and put-together of the friend group
– Ktir goody two shoes bas mafikon testaghno 3anno during an outing

5. Rosa Diaz

– The hardcore feminist
– Favorite food: sujok shawarma from Mano
– Ktir ma ela jalad l hayet
– Her most frequently used phrase is kol khara

6. Terry Jeffords

– Girls flirt with him by saying “yi lek eedak adde akbar men eede!!!”
– Favorite food: mrabba or laban ayran
– All about the GAINZZZ bel gym, b dal ynazzel sowar la his biceps
– His idea of a first date is a romantic sunset dinner in Jounieh

7. Charles Boyle

– Yalli b dahhek l kel just by existing
– Favorite food: Lebanese mezza
– Ktir momma’s boy w b dal yde2 la emmo ykhabbera 3an nharo
– His dream is to open a restaurant in Gemmayze

8. Hitchcock and Sully

– Farha w marha
– Favorite food: it doesn’t matter because whatever it is, they’re sharing it
– How people describe their friendship: “tizen bfard lbes”
– Professional procrastinators bas b dal fi wahad mennon 2aw3a mnel tene