The Chronicles of a Lebanese Introvert

Living as an undercover introvert in the party-land of perpetual mingling is never easy.

1. Lebanese weddings are your absolute cruelest nightmare.

The whole process of getting ready to join a bunch of loud people on a ceremonial evening of eye-hurting sparkle and grandiose everything while also having to respond to endless 3a2belik-s/3a2belak-s is excruciatingly painful to your inner being. Besides the discomfort of making repeated eye contact with strangers/bumping into non-strangers you’re deliberately trying to avoid, being randomly summoned to the dance floor by a third relative to Nassif Zeytoun’s latest single still feels the most awkward. The only decent outcome is that you probably get to watch people make total fools of themselves with free wine in your hand by the end of the night.

2. You constantly need to step up your excuses to ditch outings convincingly.

You are the immaculate master of coming up with convincing alibis to avoid outings [which essentially stems from an entire lifetime of being perpetually stunned at how outgoing of a population you just happen to have been born into]. What is great about you is that you are not afraid to get creative with excuses, have developed a rather smooth approach over the years and are always willing to go the extra mile to score some precious alone time away from human interaction.

3. Party people will forever remain an unsolvable mystery to you.

Your fellow citizens have a hard time understanding the absolutely unfathomable and just plain inexplicable fact that you’re not quite as into partying as they are. But little do they know your perception of them is pretty much as bewildering. Like, seriously, where does one dig out so much energy? And more importantly, how does one develop such high tolerance for other people invading their sacred personal space?

4. You are often perceived as shy.

Just because I do not feel like engaging in trivial conversations with fellow humans 24/7, does not necessarily mean I am shy. It could, on the other hand, mean that I am not in a conversational mood or just hate your guts for instance.

5. You always check the latest spots/events in town to basically know where/what to avoid.

You like to keep an eye on trending spots/events to constantly update your seasonal mental list of ‘places not to visit’ [and if you absolutely must go to one of those, then you try your best to collect accurate insights from insiders (AKA your social butterfly frenemies) on the less crowded time of day to make your move]. The hippest event in town ain’t got nothing on a quiet evening of existential questioning in the comfort of your bed sheets.

6. Sometimes it is just difficult for you to process how loud of a population you live among.

There’s loud people, LOUD people, LOOOUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDD people, and then there’s Lebanese people. There’s also a 99 percent chance you were conceived in the wrong continent.

7. People are left in awe to see you occasionally come out of your shell.

Despite being generally confined to the sheltered setup of your shell, you still like to jump out and strut your stuff from time to time, leaving the general public in a mix of genuine awe and profound disbelief. WORK IT.

1