9 Harsh Truths About Dating In Lebanon

Dating in Lebanon is hard, let’s start with that.

There are certain unspoken rules you need to know, mannerisms you need to understand, and everyday changes you need to keep up with. It’s a harsh reality, and we all know it. And while not every single person in the country will be able to relate to the following things – as different communities, families, and environments yield different experiences – we still find that if one were to summarize or generalize the harsh truths about dating in Lebanon, they would sound a lot like this:

1. You’ll be meeting many new people that are not actually “new”

Since Lebanon is such a small country, and especially in the context of Beirut, anyone you meet is bound to know someone you know. You could be dating your second cousin’s ex and not knowing it.

2. Flirting can never be understood properly

We cannot deny the fact that games and “should I talk, I talked yesterday, howe yehkeene lyom” are very alive. Spoken words and texts always tend to be changed and manipulated into an agenda – even when you’re dealing with adults.

3. The bill dilemma is a huge issue

Who asks the other person on the date should be the one to cover the bill. But here, certain rules are engraved into stone which make the “I’ll pay, no you pay” issue awkward. Some men take personal offense when the woman says she wants to pay, and other women immediately brand a man as “cheap” because he’s not paying for everything all the time.

4. Acting interested and involved translates into being needy

I’ve heard this from at least 10 Lebanese men: “Ana bheb el benet li betrakedne waraha.” Mind you, these men are educated, working men who supposedly have been around and know life’s constituents. While this “running around” might only be for playful reasons, this mindset that is being tolerated is utterly damaging and sets a terrible example.

5. Appearances are deal breakers in some cases

Not looks, but appearances. As in, he appears to be popular because his phone never stops ringing and he gets invited to social gatherings every week. Some Lebanese people put emphasis on appearances when showing the people they’re dating their lives, which puts strain and pressure on the relationship. Forcing change on things in your life to impress other people is a form of deception, and will never end well. Don’t switch cars with your friend to take that new girl out, if she’s genuinely interested in your for your own person, she won’t mind any car.

6. Properly getting to know each other can be very tiresome

Due to society’s constraints on unmarried couples living together, many couples don’t get a proper chance to know each other. Believe me, you’ll be seeing the person in a whole new light once you live with them, and because of that, three of the couples, whose weddings I attended from 2014-2017, have divorced.

7. If you have a conservative family, you can’t have a proper relationship

This is a much larger issue than you’d think. A big number of younger adults dating in Lebanon have their relationships concealed from their parents or families.

8. Maintaining a relationship with an ex is a very strange notion

Why is it weird to be friends with your ex if you ended it on good terms? Or, why do you find it unsettling that your boyfriend/girlfriend are still in touch with their exes? Mature people sometimes tend to find a way back to each other, platonically, and it shouldn’t be a mind-blowing thing.

9. A joint Facebook profile

LET’S JUST STOP THAT ALLTOGETHER, OKAY?