“Don’t Take It Personally” Book Review: A Timely Read Amidst War

As an avid reader, I’ve been distracting myself with books during these challenging times. After reading so much fiction, I found myself reaching for a self-help book to change things up. I grabbed Don’t Take It Personally, a self-discovery book by Lebanese author and psychology enthusiast Nadine El Daher—and it actually helped me a lot more than I thought.

This review highlights what I found most helpful for coping with everything happening in Lebanon. The book doesn’t specifically tackle dealing with hardships amidst war, but it is extremely useful in helping people understand themselves and others during unprecedented circumstances.

What Is This Book About?

This book helps readers build self-confidence and stop letting others’ opinions control their self-worth. It encourages people to let go of grudges, avoid taking things personally, and focus on what they can change within themselves to grow. Readers learn that personal growth often comes from shifting their perspective rather than changing everything around them.

Through practical advice, the book covers handling emotions, setting healthy boundaries, and challenging negative beliefs. It emphasizes empathy, self-care, and not comparing oneself to others. Readers are reminded that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and are encouraged to develop a more balanced, self-compassionate mindset.

In the final chapters, readers get to look back on old triggers with a healed outlook, seeing how much they’ve grown. The message is clear: it’s never too late to go after your dreams and become your best self.

It’s An Easy Read (Literally)

First things first: the look and readability of a book can be a deal breaker for many bookworms, so let’s cover that. With its simple yet charming cover, this book makes a nice addition to your bookshelf, and the text is big, clear, and well-spaced. It’s easy on the eyes, so you won’t find yourself squinting or needing frequent breaks.

Apart from NOT being visually overwhelming, this book also excels in its use of straightforward, precise language. The author avoids convoluted sentences or complex metaphors, making it easy for readers to follow along. Every idea is presented clearly and directly, so you won’t have to spend extra time decoding abstract concepts.

The writing is refreshing in its simplicity, allowing the focus to remain on the message rather than on deciphering the language. This approach makes it accessible to a wide audience, ensuring that the content resonates without unnecessary complexity.

I’m not super familiar with self-help books, but the few I’ve read in the past were a bit difficult to read. Maybe those authors thought that they sound smarter when they write things a select few can understand…

Here Are Some Chapters That Stood Out

Each chapter addresses a different type of struggle, offering a well-rounded guide for dealing with emotions like anger and guilt, as well as more specific issues like asking for help, struggling with suicide, and healing after nasty break-ups.

Overall, the chapters are all useful in different ways. Some stood out to me more than the rest because of what Lebanon is going through right now. Here are some of the stand-outs.

On Anger (and mastering it)

When in stressful situations, it’s only natural that you feel certain emotions tenfold, especially anger. This is a natural emotion at the end of the day, and these chapters offer different ways to cope with it.

I was surprised to find avoidance as a coping method, but it’s actually useful when used right. Given that most of us are overwhelmed, it’s okay for you to avoid certain scenarios, people, or situations that trigger intense emotions, as long as it’s temporary.

However, it’s important to strike a balance—avoidance should not become a long-term solution, but rather a brief respite that gives you the space to heal.

On Guilt

“You cannot control external factors and other people’s thoughts and behaviors.”

Don’t Take It Personally, p. 57

People struggling with survivor’s guilt during these times will find this chapter useful, whether you’re based in Lebanon or abroad.

Survivor’s guilt can be overwhelming, but it’s important to acknowledge your feelings without self-blame. Focus on gratitude, find ways to honor those lost, and try your best to offer support where it’s needed. Connecting with others and practicing self-care can help you heal and release guilt.

Do What Makes You Happy

I recommend you go back and reread this chapter after you read “On Guilt.”

It’s okay to take a step back, unwind amidst the chaos, and allow yourself to find moments of joy. Enjoying small things doesn’t negate the struggle, but it can provide the mental space needed to heal and regain strength.

“Avoid falling into the traps of “must” and “should” that make others perceive you as good enough.”

Don’t Take It Personally, p. 24

Yes, we’re going through difficult times. That doesn’t mean there’s a right or wrong way to behave amidst war. Who knows what that means anyway? You’re allowed to go out, see your friends, try new things, and experience joy, even amidst the chaos.

Taking time for yourself doesn’t diminish the severity of what’s happening. It simply helps you stay grounded and cope better with the challenges.

On Self-Esteem

This book really digs into the basics of self-esteem and why it matters. I liked how it highlighted that our sense of self-worth can shape our boundaries, relationships, and even how we see others’ opinions. If you’ve ever felt the pressure to please people or doubted yourself because of someone else’s attitude, there’s a lot here that hits home.

“Have you ever noticed how ships float on the surface of the ocean? They don’t sink because of the water around them, but only when it gets in them.”

Don’t Take It Personally, p. 103-104

What stood out for me was the focus on boundaries—not just setting them, but respecting others’ too. It’s practical and a great reminder that prioritizing your well-being doesn’t make you selfish. And even if it feels late to make a change, the author encourages you to start anyway, saying time will pass regardless.

Self-esteem is the foundation for everything.

Let’s Support Lebanese Authors!

Don’t Take It Personally is a refreshing and accessible guide that offers practical advice for navigating life’s emotional struggles. Whether you’re dealing with personal challenges, trying to manage stress, or simply seeking a reminder to care for yourself, this book is definitely worth reading.

You can order the book by clicking here. You can also find it at Malik’s, Antoine Library, Virgin Megastore, and a number of online bookshops!

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