7 Lies Lebanese People Tell Themselves Every New Year

No one lies on New Year as much as Lebanese people do. The way you kickstart the new year really sets the tone for what the rest of your year will look like, so that kinda says a lot. Do you want to know the most common lies we tell ourselves? Here are 7 of them.

1. “I’m actually gonna stick to my New Year’s resolution”

Our New Year’s resolutions consist of the basic “I’m gonna workout more, I’ll try a new hobby, I’ll go on a roadtrip, I’m gonna save money” bla bla bla. We’re good at lying to ourselves. Like how most of us have been lying eno “mafi shi bel balad” when it’s literally been in a state of enhiyar for years now.

Do we think Lebanese politicians have “Steal more” in their list of resolutions?

2. “Khalas bokra b3ayed khalte”

Actually no. Your mom is going to stick the phone to your ear and force you to do it the minute she suggests it. Oh, and it wasn’t a suggestion in the first place.

You might as well do it and get it over with. You tell yourself you’ll call her tomorrow, but you know deep down that you’re going to forget to do it and you’ll have to deal with the lecturing from your mom.

3. “Ma b hemne shu b ool Michel Hayek”

I feel like we all say that and then when he gets something right, we freak out. You’ll make fun of it now, but when something turns out to be true mid-2024, you’ll lose it.

Wow a good 10 of his 3000 predictions were right, what are the odds…

4. “Mesh ha na3mol shi 3a ras el sene”

Except spending the entire night barhopping in Mar Mikhael. That doesn’t count as “3am na3mol shi” because we all do that by default.

Our equivalent of “doing nothing” is actually doing something. Just take your Lebanese teta for instance. When she says “ma ha 2a3mol shi nhar l eid”, she actually means 2 main dishes and like 5 starters because that’s her default setting.

5. Or even “Ejre bhal sahra yaret ma rehna”

So…see you again next year? Same place?

We never learn, do we?

6. “Lezem nzabbet meshwar Batroun abel ma yekhlaso ajwe2 l eid”

The Batroun trip you’ve been planning for six years now hasn’t happened yet, what makes you think it’ll work for the holidays?

Has anyone actually had successful Batroun trips? I keep seeing everyone posting about it, but it never works out for me. Do I need a new friend group?

7. “2024 will be my year”

Habibi it hasn’t been Lebanon’s year since 2019 (or since ever…), why do you think you’re so special that it’s going to be “your year”? If anything, it’s going to be “not your year” for like 5 years in a row now, each worse than the last.

Anywayyyy, want to know other common Lebanese problems we all have? Check out this section on our website.