9 Ho-Ho-Horrible Things That Happen Every Family Christmas Dinner In Lebanon

We all love the holidays, right? …Right? There’s one thing we’re not really looking forward to at all, and that’s all the horrible things that will inevitably happen during the family Christmas dinner that we have every year. How many of these have you experienced?

1. That one uncle will make a sexist/racist/homophobic/xenophobic joke

Enter the woke family member who won’t tolerate his shit.

2. You’ll become the topic of conversation for a good 20 minutes

First it starts off like a police interrogation for only 2 minutes before they cut you off and start talking about you while excluding you from the conversation…

3. You’ll have one too many wara2 3enab

There’s no such thing, but you might become uncomfortably full. It’s not your fault teta makes the best wara2 3enab ever.

4. One of the baby cousins will fall w ysemmo badan l kel

They fall. They cry. The adults freak out. Mood = killed.

5. Your relatives will fight over politics…again

And it always ends the same. One second they’re screaming their heads off, and the next they’re obsessing over the turkey.

6. You’ll get a text from that one toxic situationship

All the stars align around the holidays to make you give up on your New Year’s resolution before the new year even rolls around.

7. The “who is more miserable” olympics will ensue

“Ana ma 3am nem men waja3 dahre”

“Wlek skete ana 3am bekhod 2obar cortison”

“Mesh ma2boul l wade3 shu baddo yla7e2 masrouf l wa7ad”

8. Someone will make a comment about your appearance

The enhiyar over your ripped jeans, the backhanded compliments about your new hair color, and the whole “nas7an/e bas leb2eenla/ik” or “da3fan/e bravo” conversation. Woohoo.

9. The family gossip session will return for its annual edition

No, not the one where your aunties bye7ko 3an wled l jiran. It’s like Spotify Wrapped but for family gossip, where they discuss all the insane shit that has happened over the past year. Down to the nitty-gritty details.

Maybe this one’s not THAT bad…

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What conversations are you having over Christmas dinner this year? You might also like, 14 Things You’ll Hear From Your Expat Friends This Holiday Season