11 Christmas Miracles Every Lebanese Person Will Be Wishing For

Christmas is all about giving—everything but a break, that is. Wishing for a miracle this holiday season? Here are some we had in mind.

1. You will not get stuck in holiday traffic on your way to the family dinner

But you know…delaying the moment you see your judgmental Lebanese aunties doesn’t sound TOO bad.

2. Your mom will no longer compare you to cattle

“Ya hameer, ya ba2ar, ya bajam” no more!

3. You will never misspell an Arabic word on the family group chat

Ever want to feel like you’re the dumbest person on earth?

4. TGI Friday’s will reopen in Beirut

Did you know we had TGI Friday’s, Hard Rock Café, and Nando’s? Click here for more restaurants that were open in Lebanon back in the day.

5. No one will comment on your degree/career/outfit choices during the family dinner

Nearly impossible. Has never happened to this day. If it does, doubt EVERYTHING.

6. You will never recall that time you called your math teacher “Mama”

And you also won’t remember how she explained to everyone who laughed their asses off that “shi ktir 3ade aslan ento metel wlede”.

7. Your teta will not give you a third, fourth…fifth? serving of bazella w rez after you told her you were full

We lost count. We think your teta is trying to break her own record each time you visit.

8. You will relive iyyem el 1500 one more time

Alexa, play See You Again by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth.

9. You will live to see a new Lebanese president

We’re losing hope at this point. Check out these 15 More Presidential Candidates MPs Should Vote For to keep you entertained in the meantime.

10. You will never hear the phrase “3a iyyeme” from any older relative

No more stories of war and walking to school while the day3a was being bombed. No more comparing how the man2oushe was b lira aw lirten and saret +50,000LL. No more unhinged childhood memories with wled l day3a.

11. Your dad will no longer be adamant on making sure the entire building hears the WhatsApp video he’s watching

Yes, peace and quiet.