Listomania
10 Things that Entertain Your Lebanese 3amto
Your Lebanese aunt, also known as the angrier and more dramatic version of your Lebanese teta and dad combined. Here are 10 things that will always entertain your Lebanese aunt without fail.
1. Family gossip
She’s your number one new source for any family drama, always served with a pinch of exaggeration and slightly raised eyebrows. She gets a massive dose of energy each time something dramatic happens, and starts arranging her ziyarat to maximize gossip time.
2. Investing in tools to ward off evil/saybet el 3en
From her incomprehensible whisperings of protective recitations under her breath, to doing a “sabba” and covering your entire being with the Evil Eye, safe to say that she goes above and beyond in protecting you from 7asad.
3. Shipping cousins together
“Lyke ebn 3amek, shab reye2 w mohtram w mn el 3ayle…”
She knows exactly how to “keep it in the family” and is willing to go to great lengths to ward off “intruders”.
4. Turkish series
It is the one way she fuels her romantic side that probably died ages ago.
5. Coffee, bezer, and a pack of cigarettes
Catch her on the balcony every afternoon with this trusted combo. El jiran bl 7ay and anyone who can contribute to the neighborhood gossip is welcome to join.
6. Hearing “Yi ktir tal3a/tali3 la 3amtak”
Instant ego boost. She couldn’t be more proud that you’re a spitting image of her genes.
7. Sharing natural home remedies with everyone
She’s going to fight any disease with 3asal, zeit zaytoun, zuhourat, and shorbet 3adas. She threatens the whole medical field and no one can stop her.
8. Reading your coffee cup
*Carefully inspects your cup*
“Hay el tari2 yale 3m tshofiha hon ya3neh jeyitek rez2a. Eh masare aw 3arees”.
9. Sunday family events
She’s livid, running on adrenaline, and giving sweaty smooches to every single niece.
10. Buying pajamas as gifts
Every single birthday. You have loads now.
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