7 Lebanese Competitions That Happen On The Daily

For the most part, we Lebanese are always busy trying to one-up each other and trying to make a competition out of literally everything. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let me elaborate:

1- You simply cannot tell your mom you’re tired

This is about to get ugly. If you expect your mom to
comfort you and help you relax, think again. You’ll quickly be met with, “Men shou ta3ben(e) smallah? Shou 3mlt(e) aslan?”; she will then proceed to mention every single thing she’s done that day: work, chores, cooking, and trust me, the 15 hours of labor AND the fact that you permanently ruined her body will get dragged into this.

2- Cars at a red light in Beirut

You reach a red light and stop at a reasonable distance from the intersection, the car next to you suddenly inches closer and closer. You can’t explain it, but you get defensive and
you move a few inches forward as well. The next thing you know you’re in a competition over who takes off first when the light turns green.

3- Two tantes talking about their sons

Tante 1: “3a fekra, ana ibne mo7ameh”

Tante 2: “mahdoome l mo7amet, ma ishba shi. Ana walla ibneh mhandes yo2borne”

T1: “eh ma ana ibne hl2 5allas tobb kamen gher l mo7amet, sar daktoor kamen allah yi7meh”

T2: “ah walla? Mne7. L mo7amet hayde hek hiweye 3nd ibneh aslan, 3m yfta7 business hala2 kamen”

4- Name Dropping your connections

If name dropping was a sport, the gold medal is ours. People bring up who they know and what connections they have at the most random times. What’s worse is that the other person starts to name drop as well until one of them turns out to be Obama’s cousin twice removed.

5- Two pre-meds on who studied less

Pre-med 1: “bro manne jehez lal fa7es, ma 5allasit gher nos l material”

Pre-med 2: “3l aleeli 5allasit l nos, ana ma 2reeton 7atta”

P1: “eh ma ana ma 5allaston 5allaston, bs azde inno ata3t 3lyon 3l saree3”

P2: “ana aslan nseet inno 3inna fa7es”

Spoiler alert: they both end up with a 93%.

6- The infamous bill fight

A moment of intense silence falls upon the restaurant the second the bill hits the table. A tiny drop of sweat rolls down the waiter’s forehead. Both people reach out for the bill at the same time and the yelling commences. “Walla ma bi2bal” “w7yet wlede ma 7a 5alleeke tdfa3i” …Have Lebanese people not heard of ‘you can get it this time, I’ll get the next’ concept?Or maybe just split it?

7- Whose beau spends more money on them

“Hayete 5ateebe jable ta2em dahab bi3a22id”

“Yii cute. Ana jawze jable siyyara jdeede”

“Anh. Mabrook. Ana 5ateebe e5idne vacation 3a Greece”

You know… because money and gifts are the most genuine expression of love and respect.