Grandmother Strikes Again: More Obscure Health Tips Courtesy Of The Lebanese Teta
We recently told you all about the Lebanese grandmother versus medical science. As mentioned earlier, health advice in Lebanon is a dime a dozen. That said, your grandmother’s prescriptions run the gamut from a whiff of scientific truth to all-out mythology. Here are a few more Teta pearls:
Never, ever, eat dairy with fish.
The reason you may ask? You may not. It is what it is and that is a golden rule not to be broken lest you be smitten. God help your Bengali friends who enjoy Doi Maach (Fish in yogurt sauce).
Never, ever, point at the stars.
Speaking of smiting, did you know that pointing at the stars could lead to all sorts of dermatological monstrosities, of the “warty” kind in particular? Yup. The heavens are meant to be gazed not pointed at. To be fair, it is rude to point…at people. The divine simply has more power to enforce good manners.
Nosebleed management 101.
Remember when you and your siblings were having a jolly old time playing cowboys and Indians under the watchful eye of your grandmother? Remember when, all of a sudden, she swoops to tilt your head back and orders you to remain still to stop the nosebleed you never even felt coming? I thought so. Do not mess with this one. While common sense and medical knowledge would have you pinch the bony part of your nose to stop the bleed, your grandma has an entirely different perspective: if you don’t see it, it is not there. Go ahead, lean back.
Chocolate causes acne.
This one is a double standard if I ever noted one. According to your mother, grandmother, and great grandmother, chocolate is the sole offender behind your teenage acne. Apparently zits feed on chocolate to bloom on the ever-fertile field of your face. It goes to reason then that you should cut off their supply for the eruptions to settle. Yet, what does your grandmother greet you with at the door, every time? Chocolate cake, of course. But here’s the good news: chocolate has no bearing on acne. Doctor’s honor.
My personal favorite: wrap a jaundiced newborn in a yellow blanket to “suck” the jaundice out of their system. Need I say more?
