5 Random Conversations Heard At A Lebanese Hair Salon

Sure you can watch the news, read books or ask locals about Lebanon, but if you want a crash course into uncensored Lebanese society, all you have to do is visit one of the dozen hairdressers scattered around any given street in Beirut. Not only will you get some of the most affordable hair and nail services around the world but you also get to hear and, dare I say participate in (at your own risk), various shades and colors of these almost guaranteed conversation topics:

1. The latest IT wedding.

Because what ever could we do with our lives if we didn’t stalk socialite weddings, scrutinize bridal dresses and hairpieces and weigh in on the latest budget figures of table centerpieces and chandeliers? Lots actually but…let’s return to the superficial issue at hand. The usual conversation is a perfectly choreographed ballet of judgments, innuendos and false wishes that inevitably lead to a second act centered mainly on the latest nasty divorce in town. “But thank GOD they didn’t have kids…pheww”.

2. What’s a fashion commentary- bridal or not-without a segway into the latest diet fad?

Never mind if it entails sucking, cutting, or zapping fat off your body. Never mind if it leads to starving or fainting, anything goes for those pesky extra kilograms. While the client sits in her chair recounting her latest adventurous weight loss journey, the hairdresser-turned-health professional usually interjects and offers well-timed albeit entirely misguided advice.

3. With his/her health hat still on, the hairstylist proceeds to recount his/her physical ailments.

You know…from standing too long and working long hours, not to mention living in this country, which “makes you SICK”. The “patient” usually shakes her head in exasperated disapproval while the assistant stylist and the shampoo girl nod in synchrony and acquiescence.

4. At which point the conversation swiftly shifts to politics.

At that precise moment, when the fourth act begins, silence falls abruptly and only the hair conductor’s rant is heard over and above the symphony of hairdryers. Chairs get just a little bit wigglier, everyone burning to chime in with their latest political theory of prime ministers and resignations.

5. The closing act: fattouch.

The political banter usually leaves all protagonists exhausted and in the same places…much like our national government. The closing act is therefore an inevitable crowd pleaser: the latest Fattouch recipe. It IS much better with pomegranate molasses. Everyone agrees. We Lebanese love happy endings after all.

main courtesy of Melissa Tabeek