The 10 Struggles Every New Mom Will Face In Lebanon

Motherhood is hard, or so they say. In Lebanon, new mothers are nothing short of superheroes. Sure, every mother from Ethiopia to Denmark is blessed with an abundance of sleepless nights, an unlimited supply of drool-infested shirts, endless fun on the emotional roller coaster express, and brain fog made possible by the hypnotic spin of perennial washing machine cycles…BUT…only a Lebanese mother knows these 10 distinctly local struggles:

1.When your stroller doubles as a mountain bike. Between the potholes, cracks, detours, construction sites, and practically non-existent sidewalks, it’s no wonder why choosing your stroller in Lebanon is just as critical as choosing your life partner.

2. When you stare down taxi honkers, boom-boxers, and enthusiastic drillers while your baby is attempting to take a nap in the stroller. And, just when your munchkin’s head tilts gently to the side, lulled by the slow constant vibration of strolling motion….BAM! The garbage truck dumps its load, ferrying it into yet another landfill to be burnt and risen again like a cancer-inducing Phoenix. Nap complete.

3. When political squabbles have a direct impact on your quality – and quantity of sleep. You see when your baby has a predilection for bedtime music, and your sole lifeline to provide them with it is a Youtube video that relies on dismal Wifi connectivity, which is the direct results of petty political agendas – this whole process can throw a serious wrench into your snooze schedule.

4. When your idea of immersing your baby in nature is having him/her play with the artificial cactus on your balcony.

5. When AUB doubles as a park, a zoo, a botanical garden, and a quiet room. Hey, those benches are eerily comfortable.

6. When your baby’s olfactory prowess entails the ability to distinguish tire fumes from rotting banana vapors.

7. When having a baby is interpreted as an open-ended invitation to obliterate your personal space into smithereens. To strangers, friends, and family: my baby- and the belly housing it – are still mine.

8. When you don’t need pediatricians, pharmacists, lactation consultants or other health professionals: you can find them all on the streets. For free.

9. When dad deserves a medal for “helping” with a diaper. Moms? What?

10. And my personal favorite: when your baby, born in Lebanon, to a Lebanese mother, grows up in Lebanon and is NOT Lebanese, courtesy of having a non-Lebanese father.

Superheroes, I tell you…